Human Sacrifice
by Darial Goldscythe Kuznetsova
Summary: Right now, today. I'm gonna make you become my human sacrifice. Tala/Mariah. Songfic and twoshot. My first angst! 2nd song by Skillet. I don't own these.
1. Human Sacrifice

**Human Sacrifice**

**Do you still remember when you promised me the perfect love****?  
**Tala… Why in hell did I believe you? You told me that you love me, that you'd never leave me. Lee was right. Why I fool didn't believe him. Now he's gone from my life, doesn't even see me. No-one from our village would see me anymore. I'm as good as dead, and you Tala, killed me.  
**  
****And I gave you everything and still you said it wasn't enough.  
**I left everything, to be with you. I stayed in a country that was too cold for me. You promised to keep me warm, but you didn't. I was with you almost every minute, and yet you asked, why I didn't see you. That was enough.

**When you hit me verbally****, put me on my knees and blamed it on me.  
**_Mariah, you __poured all your problems on me. And the choice was yours. You chose to stay with me; you drove all my friends away. You left everything; your brother doesn't want to talk with you, your friends won't even look at you. Yet everything was my fault. My whole life I craved for friendly words and every word you said hurt me. I had lived within lies and the truth hurt._

**And I'd swallow it down****.  
**_I don't know how long I've been here. Just sitting, staring into nothingness. I'm too tired to move, I'm drained. My feelings are a mess. Complete mess. I believe you. Everything is my fault. You're an outcast, just like me. But not all the outcasts belong together. There is no pla__ce, where to go. Nothing but guilt._

**I let you break my wings, chose to become your caged up bird.  
**You wanted to own me, Tala. I accepted that. I don't know why. You needed someone to be near. And in the end, you had nobody else. Everyone abandoned you in instant when they heard I'm with you, live in the same apartment, and sleep in the same bed. I didn't feel the wind anymore, didn't smell the grass, didn't see the forest. There was just black and murky, white and suffocating.  
**  
Ate your bull shit promises and cherished every fucking word****.  
**You told me, that you love me more than anything. But was it all just nonsense mumbled with lust? Yes. You never said it afterwards. Only when I had you in my embrace, warmed your cold body with my own. I wanted to hear the words again and again. To hear that there is even one who loves me. Promises to be with me.  
**  
Now like a freedom phoenix burning from a rising sun****.  
**_I wake up and the room is cold. You're gone. I know what I said to you. I remember it now. And I wouldn't take back a word__. Coldness has taken over again. I miss you, but I can't say that aloud. No-one is here to hear it. The walls won't answer. Because you're not here either._

**Here is my vindication****.**

**Alright, okay  
You're gonna get a taste of my heartbreak  
****Right now, today  
I'm gonna make you regret all your dirty ways  
****Alright, okay  
You're gonna get a taste of my heartbreak  
****Right now, today  
I'm gonna make you become my human sacrifice  
**Tala. I'm not an object which you can throw away when you need it no more. You might not need me, but I need you. I know what you have been through. You wanted compassion and warmth, but you never returned the feelings. I'll show you. You toyed with my emotions; it's only fair to return the favour. I don't care if my words insulted you. It was meant to happen. I still don't know what to do, but I won't return. Not yet.

**Let's go back into the time you stained my heart like merlot wine.  
**I remember every night with you. The coldness was gone, there was only warmth. You were gentle, even though you never showed that side of you to the others. The hands that hurt the others caressed me gently. You treated me like the most precious china. You never stopped even after I told you, that I won't break. I remember what your hair felt like. So soft and smooth. Mine felt just the opposite, no matter what you said.

**Didn't care if I was sick, you left me alone to cry and die.  
**_You yelled at me. I just cowered there and cried. I felt something break inside of me. Something that caused pain. I don't know, was that meant to happen, but the pain didn't subside. It paralyzed me. I'm lying on my bed and try to ignore the agony wrenching my chest. It won't leave me. It's still searing. I wish I could just die.  
_**  
****Your human sacrifice alone in your church of love and lies.  
**I was just a fleeting lust. When you thought you were strong enough without me, you gave me the cold shoulder again. Just like when I met you for the first time. Your skin was yet again cold beneath my hand, you pulled away. I sat on your lap and you pushed me away. Then I knew. You had lied.

**I did not forget.  
**_I see a picture of us on my nightstand. It's still there, glass is broken. You threw it at me, when you got angry with me. Did I deserve it, I don't know. I know nothing. I look at it. You were smiling happily, even though you had only me. I don't know who took it. Passer-by, I presume. __A weird feeling alongside pain confuses me. Do I miss you?  
_**  
****I'm back with ammunition, on a mission that will make you pay.  
**I'm standing behind your door. Something just pulled me here. Maybe because you owe me. You have a mission. I find the key and open the door. Not a sound. Are you even at home? I heard from your neighbour, that you hadn't left or even turned on the lights after I left. I'm a neko-jin, I can easily see in the dark. You sit on the sofa, or more like lie. You're clutching your chest, You've got to be faking it. You heard me coming and you try to look like you care. You don't move, when I walk to you, avoiding things. Things that I threw.

**Back with a bazooka and a bullet where I wrote your name.  
**Finally I stand before you. Your dull eyes turn to me. Something comes alive in them, they're not dead completely. You reach to touch the bump, but I slap your hand away. You start to cough if you were sick. I take steps backwards as you fall to the floor to a pathetic heap. You keep coughing, but I think you're just begging my pity. You disgust me. I'm tempted to kick you, but I can't. The one who throws the first punch, always throws the first punch. You try to say my name, talk to me, but you go silent when I hiss to you.

**Risen up from the ashes ready for my justice day****.  
**I returned, so you'd see what you did. I grab you be the scruff of your neck and yank your head up, so you can clearly see. I scream at you and I don't care about the blood dripping from your lips. You are begging for pity. You harmed yourself so that I'd pity you and return. Not working, Tala. I've had it.

**Here I come for you****.  
**I call you names, you just listen. You know that I'm right. Your eyes are lifeless again. You used me. I was nothing more than a bed warmer. Bed warmer that cost you dear. You had me to yourself. I only had you. And finally you abandoned me too.

**Alright, okay  
You're gonna get a taste of my heartbreak  
****Right now, today  
I'm gonna make you regret all your dirty ways****  
Alright, okay  
You're gonna get a taste of my heartbreak****  
Right now, today  
I'm gonna make you become my human sacrifice  
**You won't see me ever again. Where ever I'm going, I take our child with me. You can go to hell. Die, you are useless. No-one will miss you.

**Do you still remember when you promised me the perfect love****?  
**_Why are you yelling? You're shouting to my ear__ and I can barely hear. I told you nothing. I don't know, I don't remember. I know, asking for forgiveness for both of our sakes. Everything is lost already. You want me to die. Mariah, your wish is about to come true. Sooner than you think. I'm done, doomed. For my whole life I missed the warmth, and when I finally had it and more else, all of a sudden you turn your back to me, start to insult me. I destroyed your life. And there is barely nothing left of mine either.  
_**  
And I gave you everything and still you said it wasn't enough.  
**_I told you I love you. And you didn't believe me. What else I can do?  
_**  
When you hit me verbally, put me on my knees and blamed it on me.  
**_You want to strike me. I can see it. Your hands are shaking, your eyes are slits. Cold golden eyes. Say what you want. Do what you want. I don't care anymore.  
_**  
And I'd swallow it down.  
**_I stagger to my feet, pain is searing through my chest. I want it to end. I want to be alone. I find what I'm looking for behind locked doors. When I got the knife, I don't remember. Back then everything was fine. I guess. I press the blade against my chest. I hear your voice through the door. Go away.  
_  
**I let you break my wings chose to become your caged up bird.  
**I try to open the door, but it's locked. Alright. I turn away and leave. I don't know where to head, but I leave anyway.

**Ate your bull shit promises and cherished every fucking word.  
**_The pain in my chest stopped. I hit the target. __I don't care if I'm lying on my bed and a knife is sticking out of my chest. I feel pain no more and I can close my eyes, be at peace and die. Die. You took everything from me. Everything, Mariah.  
_**  
Now like a freedom phoenix burning from a rising sun.  
**Everyone has someone to walk with and they look at me like nothing more than a old chewing gum on the street. I walk alone. I'm pregnant and I walk alone. Not interested.

**Here is my vindication.  
**Goodbye Tala.

**Alright, okay  
You're gonna get a taste of my heartbreak  
****Right now, today  
I'm gonna make you regret all your dirty ways  
****Alright, okay  
You're gonna get a taste of my heartbreak  
****Right now, today  
I'm gonna make you become my human sacrifice**


	2. Whispers In The Dark

- Why don't we think what we might be doing to each other? We hurt each other without caring. Without regretting. Apologies are just whispers in the dark…

**Whispers In The Dark**

**Despite the lies that you're making****,  
**I'm already far away. Despite the distance between us, I can't find peace. Something is nagging me from the inside. My heart is heavy. Something is wrong, I just don't know what. I greet the only friend who still sees me and didn't mind of with whom I was. I forgot him and he forgave me.

He had a smile on his face, as he opened the door for me. He has always had a smile to spare for me as he sees me. Unlike you. He just looks at me and takes my bag. Not a word, just lets me enter, get out of the rain. Why is it always raining when I'm sad and lonely? Worried. Why? And why am I worried?

Soon I sit by the fireplace, warming my hands. He sits next to me, waiting for me to say something. What can I say?

"I left him."

Did he expect that? No. I close my eyes and sigh, my hand resting on the bump. I'm confused.

"Why? I thought everything was great."

"He seemed to return to the old. He turned cold. I had it."

"Mariah… I guess you don't know what you just did."

I don't understand. I look at him, confused by what he's trying to say.

"Did you tell him?"

"I showed…" I look down and pull the cover around me tighter. I don't want it. But I don't know what to do. I'm lost.

"He is not okay. You know what he has gone through. Mariah, he's half cyborg. He can't control himself completely. Do you think he wants to be like that? Nobody does. What you can't control, that you are afraid of."

"Ray, I still don't understand."

"He wants to be normal. Many people are mocking him because he is no longer a human completely. Did he ever tell you what else was his wish?"

"No. I don't remember. We didn't talk much anyway."

"You've had the answer for quite a time now. And you are taking it away from him."  
**  
Your love is mine for the taking.  
**I pale. I remember, when you reached for…

"A child. He wanted a family."

Now I understand why you couldn't take it, me leaving. Now I understand and am afraid. Tala, don't do anything stupid…

**My love is just waiting  
To turn your tears to roses.  
**_My memory is dim. Someone was yelling my name behind the door, forcing it open. I couldn't make out. Hands twisted my face to other direction, I saw nothing. I was almost gone already. Someone brushed my hair off my face, I barely felt it either. Cold and dark. Mariah…_

**Despite the lies that you're making,  
Your love is mine for the taking.  
**What have I done? What I fool have done? I can feel his arms around me, I cry against his shoulder. What I would give to be in your arms again. Why I broke everything? Tala…

He gets up and answers the phone. He returns soon, pale and serious. I tremble. I'm afraid of what he has to tell about you.

"Mariah… Tala tried to… Bryan found him as he got worried. He had seen you to come back and then leave…"

Tala, no!  
**  
My love is just waiting  
To turn your tears to roses.  
**_Mariah… You killed me from the inside, why is the shell still alive? There is no reason for me to stay anymore… I… love you…_

**I will be the one that's gonna hold you.  
**I stare my lap. I blame myself. It's all I can do. What I did was as good as stabbing you in your chest. Twisted the blade even if you were already in the brink of death. When I close my eyes, I can almost see you. You paler than before, your skin is almost grey. You barely breathe. You as good as dead. And all because my stupidity.  
**  
I will be the one that you run to.  
**_I was waiting for your return, and when you came, you killed me. I don't know, should I believe in your return. I can't go anywhere anymore. I'm a prisoner in my own body. I'm still waiting.  
_**  
My love is a burning, consuming fire.  
**I can only sit and cry. I'm too afraid to return and face you. Or worse: them. I lied. I still love you. Feelings are hard to change, hard to hide. Ray sits down next to me, handing a steaming mug of tea to me. It warms, but I'm still cold. My heart is on fire, the flame is waning, but it doesn't smother.

**No, you'll never be alone.  
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars.  
Hear my whispers in the dark.  
**_I try to open my eyes, but I can't. I'm too tired. Tired to live._

"_Tala, can you hear me? Hand in there. Everything will be alright."_

_Nothing will be alright. Nothing never will be alright ever again. Mariah, come back. Don't do this to me. Feels like the stars would be spinning around me, I'm dizzy. Someone touches me, but the hand is cold. It freezes my already cold skin._

"_Tala, what you did you fool?"_

_Bryan, let me die…  
_**  
No, you'll never be alone.  
When darkness comes you know I'm never far.  
Hear the whispers in the dark.  
Whispers in the dark.  
**Ray thinks I should go back and not hide. How am I going to explain? I'm lost and there is no help. I don't want to do this. But I'm have to. I'm tired and soon I sleep, dream about you and happy days which are far away and unreachable.

**You feel so lonely and ragged.  
**I sit with him in a plane, on the way to you. Many smiles are directed to us, but I turn my head away. I hold my tears. In my dreams I cried and still I would like to cry and curse my unthoughtfulness.

"Take a deep breath and calm down. Try to relax or sleep."

He thinks I can relax? No. Not before everything is fine again.  
**  
You lay there broken and naked.  
**When I close my eyes, I see you again. You lay on your bed with a knife in your chest. You don't make a move even when you are bleeding. Your eyes are closed, you don't care even as the blood flows along your naked chest, staining your pale skin and the sheets beneath. I see that you couldn't care less, you wanted this to yourself. I gave the permission. I told you to die.  
**  
My love is just waiting.  
To clothe you in crimson roses.  
**_Mariah…_

_I can't take this anymore. I finally open my eyes, I'm alone. And I won't be staying in this world alone. I don't care even if my chest hurts as I sit up. I pull every tube and tape that is attached to me. I don't understand where this strength comes from. I just want out._

_Floor after floor I stagger higher, until I reach the roof. It's snowing outside, ironic. One could think, that my guardian is trying to console me. I look at the silvery blade I'm clutching. It tries to warm me, but I belong to the cold. Mariah proved it. I throw the blade far away, it connects the street with a clink and a cab hits it. A wolf howls behind the hospital, my beast is free._

_And soon will be I._

**I will be the one that's gonna find you.  
**I looked for you from your room, you are not there. Where did you go? We looked for you all over, until we heard a wolf's howl from outside. And the wolf is no ordinary wolf. Before that voice was in my nightmares, now only in my dreams. Tala, where are you? Don't do this to me. I'm so sorry. So deeply sorry. I didn't know what I was doing. I love you.  
**  
I will be the one that's gonna guide you.  
**_Why my heart won't stop beating? Why do I feel like you're here? Mariah…  
_**  
My love is a burning, consuming fire.  
**_Why did I abandon the old teachings? What I got from loving? Nothing. When I'm gone, everything is fine. Everything is fine again and you can start over. I'm useless, pathetic. Nothing more.  
_**  
No, you'll never be alone.  
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars.  
Hear my whispers in the dark.  
**I turn and look outside. You're out there. But where? Roof? Tala, don't you dare…

I try to stay calm as the elevator takes us higher. It's cramped and I'm afraid. When I finally get out, I can take a deep breath.  
**  
No, you'll never be alone.  
When darkness comes you know I'm never far  
Hear the whispers in the dark  
**_Coldness and darkness… erase everything…_

**No, you'll never be alone.  
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars.  
Hear the whispers in the dark.  
**It's cold and so dark. I'm scared of what I'll find, or do I find anything. Tala, where are you? Don't do this. Don't leave me. I made a mistake, I admit it.

I see you. You lie near the edge, I barely dare to come close. Tears are blurring my vision and I wipe my eyes.

I set my myself next to you, set your head on my lap. Your wound has bled, you don't react. You're like dead. But still alive. I shake to gently. Can you still feel me?  
**  
No, you'll never be alone.  
When darkness comes you know I'm never far.  
Hear the whispers in the dark.  
**Ray and Bryan are still standing at the door, just looking at us. Tala, you still have friends, like I do. Even though we thought that no-one cared anymore. We were wrong.  
**  
Whispers in the dark.  
**"Tala… I'm so sorry… I didn't know… I didn't you wanted a family. I'm sorry."  
**  
****Whispers in the dark.  
**"Tala, open your eyes. Please. Look at me. Say something… Anything… Tala…"  
**  
Whispers in the dark.  
**"Forgive me Tala. I love you…"


End file.
